Our Attitudes Matter

You must have heard a million times that people address you based on the way you are dressed. I stand to differ that how people address you goes far more than the way you are dressed but cuts across your virtues, lifestyle, character and importantly, your attitudes.

Oxford Advanced Learners’ Dictionary described attitude as “the way you think and feel about something and someone; the way you behave towards something and someone that shows how you think and feel.” It also described it as “a form of confidence, sometimes aggressive behavior that shows you don’t’ care about other people’s opinions and that you want to do things in an individual way.”

Many at times, people subscribe to the latter description of attitude, ignoring the former and as a result, find themselves living a life of self-pity, loneliness and dejection. Many at times, you find people struggling to attain a balanced and peaceful life, and this, in no doubt, is as a result of their negative attitudes to life.

It is not enough to believe you are special, unique and different to the point that you regard worthless what other people think and feel. The entity, life, comprises of a nexus of distinctive and peculiar souls made strong by our passions, dreams, desires, love for one another and a heart of selflessness and sacrifice. But you can agree with me that what we see in the world today is the contrary. Jealousy, hatred, envy, malice, slander, and all sorts of nefarious conducts are what radiate an attitude of negativity lurking in the hearts of some people.

The difference between people with so much negativity in their lives and those having the best times of their lives daily is their attitudes. In ‘The Winning Attitude’, John Maxwell summed up the idea of attitude and said: “Attitude…is the “advance man” of our true selves. Its roots are inward but its fruit is outward. It is our best friend or our worst enemy.

“It is more honest and more consistent than our words. It is an outward look based on past experiences. It is a thing which draws people to us or repels them. It is never content until it is expressed. It is the librarian of our past. It is the speaker of our present. It is the prophet of our future.”

Russell M. Ballard once said: “Attitude is an important part of the foundation upon which we build a productive life. A good attitude produces good results, fair attitude produces poor results, and a poor attitude produces poorer results. We each shape our own life, and the shape of it is determined largely by our attitude.”

Someone once said: “if you must choose an attitude daily, choose an attitude of gratitude.” Gratitude creates in us a sense of relief and calmness that life is indeed great and worth living to the fullest. It makes one content and happy enough to believe that everyone is worth appreciating rather than being judged and condemned. Having an attitude of gratitude is the magic trick to happiness and abundance.

When the mind is negative, poisons are released into the blood, which cause more unhappiness and negativity. This is the way to failure, frustration and disappointment. A negative mind tends to provide you with various reasons to judge and condemn others, which simply reflects an attitude of defeat.

This attitude of defeat makes one a shadow of one’s self and like a plague, people will avoid such a person. Bob Gass said: “Whenever you take it upon yourself to analyze, judge and scrutinize others, you tend to display an attitude of ego and insecurity and you set the standard by which you yourself will be judged.”

A judgmental and condemning attitude will only end up dragging you down the ladder of success and hinder your progress towards attaining your goals in life. It is all a thing of the mind and it’s prudent you renew your mind daily with love and embrace a positive attitude to life.

When you come face to face with challenges, your attitude goes a long way to determine whether you will overcome or be overwhelmed.  In every area of our lives, we need to imbibe the attitude of seeing possibilities and ways to improve ourselves rather than being lazy where it matters the most.

A right and positive attitude to life places one ahead of circumstances. A right and positive attitude towards others gives one the credibility to earn their love, respect, care and affection. However, one fundamental question so many of us unconsciously avoid is: How do you see yourself?

Do you see yourself as an empty barrel that is of no use to the world? Do you see yourself as a victim of circumstances tossed here and there by the wind of dejection? Do you perceive yourself as worthless and not worthy of the good things of life? Or, do you see yourself as a victor of circumstances and the manager of your life, ready to take risks and always prepared for whatever life throws at you?

Your attitude does matter a lot because a negative attitude about yourself is enough to make you seem as an old wine in a new bottle or like a blur picture in a beautiful new frame. According to Joyce Meyer, “If you desire to have a victorious, positive and happy life, you cannot be negative about yourself. Don’t look only at how far you have to go, but at how far you have come.”

To have a positive attitude, it is imperative you put your progress in life and not your problems into consideration and you would see your life having a whole new meaning of relevance and significance before your very eye. According to Ryan Lowe, positive attitude in life is very important because it determines everything else in your life!

Attitude isn’t just about whether or not you’re having a good or bad day. Attitude is more than that. It affects relationships. It affects careers. It affects your entire future. There are people who were flying high, had a great business, and then lost it all. Years later, they’re still talking about their problems and misfortunes.

For some, their spouse left them and they tend to see everyone as evil and mean. Unfortunately, they’re still reliving the events that led up to the sore moments in their lives. Their negative attitudes won’t let them get on with their lives and to live the life of their dreams.

Living the life of your dreams starts with getting into a habit of being positive in how you think, talk, and act. The flip side of the coin is if you have a habit of thinking, talking, and acting negatively, you are living a life far below what you can achieve.

Someone once said: “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

If you want to live a fulfilling life- one filled with an abundance of health, wealth, and happiness- it starts with how you think, talk, and act! You should start changing your attitude because it can literally change your life.

Ryan Lowe also did note that the great thing about attitude is that, it’s your choice! Your attitude is a habit. “Most people I meet have a bad habit of believing they can’t do anything; of talking down to themselves, and of living a life of quiet defeat. They think, talk, and act as if it’s impossible for them to succeed,” Lowe said.

In the words of Charles Swindoll, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it”. “Some people believe they don’t have a choice and that their fate is out of their hands. They believe God, life, the universe, or whoever, decides what will happen to them. They have this passive approach to life that whatever happens, happens. Yes, those things play into the big picture, but you have a choice of what you do about it. You have the power to change your life. Believe this:

If there is anything you want to change in your world, change your attitude toward it. Life isn’t about what happens to you- it’s what you do about it. Honestly, you can’t change much of what happens in life, but you can change how you look at it. That, in turn, changes everything.” (Ryan Lowe)

Success isn’t determined by background, experience, or anything else. It’s all in your attitude. “Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is important that we know how to harness and control this great force.”-Irvin Berlin.

Scott Hamilton said: “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” Even if you think you have a pretty good attitude, there's always room for improvement. Take charge of your attitude and don’t let someone else choose it for you. “To different minds, the same world is a hell and a heaven” (Ralph Waldo Emerson) but it all boils down to your attitude, whether good or bad, towards the people around you and life itself.

Attitude is what makes the difference to either make your life better or bitter. As a friend, I can assure you that you stand to lose nothing at all by having a positive attitude to life and know for sure that whatever happens to you in life is the ripple effect of your disposition and attitude, whether good or bad.

“It doesn't matter what your circumstances are at the present moment. Think positively, expect only favorable results and situations, and circumstances will change accordingly. If you persevere, you will transform the way your mind thinks. It might take some time for the changes to take place, but eventually they will.”-Remez Sasson.

Let no one tell you otherwise, to have a fulfilled, happy and balanced life, you need a positive attitude. And as humans, no matter the differences in the colour of our skins, race, religion, tribe and ideologies, the colour of our blood will ever remain the same.

What we need to bring about a positive change in our world starts with us acknowledging the fact that we need to have an overhaul in our mindset and our attitudes. We need to do away with all forms of jealousy, selfishness, envy and greed, and embrace undiluted love, kindness and affection to one another.

Though, things are still as they were as before, it is for us all to identify and toil towards the need to make our lives and that of others better. And to achieve remarkable progress in this regard, you and I must allow our heart, body and soul sink to the fact that in whatever we do on earth, “Our attitudes matter.”